The Way I See It
The Way I See It
By Liz Conejo
In this essay, I’m focusing on two principles of a spiritual, non-denominational organization for the purpose of demonstrating how not every church community abides by what they “preach:”
The First Principle:
“Reverence and respect for human nature is at the core of our faith. We believe that all the dimensions of our being carry the potential to do good. We celebrate the gifts of being human; our intelligence and capacity for observation and reason, our senses and ability to appreciate beauty, our creativity, our feelings and emotions. We cherish our bodies as well as our souls. We can use our gifts to offer love, to work for justice, to heal injury, to create pleasure for ourselves and others.”
“’Just to be is a blessing. Just to live is holy,’” the great twentieth-century Rabbi Abraham Heschel wrote.
Said organization affirms the inherent worth and dignity of each person as a given of faith—an unshakeable conviction calling us to self-respect and respect for others.,”
--Anonymous
The Second Principle:
“Justice, equity, and compassion in human relations points us toward something beyond inherent worth and dignity. It points us to the larger community. It gets at collective responsibility. It reminds us that treating people as human beings is not simply something we do one-on-one, but something that has systemic implications and can inform our entire cultural way of being.
“Compassion is something that we can easily act on individually. We can demonstrate openness, give people respect, and treat people with kindness on our own. But we need one another to achieve equity and justice.
“Justice, equity, and compassion are all part of the same package. Just as the second Principle overlaps with the first, so it is related to the interdependent web of all existence.” -Anonymous
During a low point in my life, a close friend invited, and encouraged me to attend a local, non-denominational church. She reassured me it would be a most interesting, unique experience, and she was right!
I really didn’t know what to expect, yet went in with an open heart and open mind. It was the first non-denominational church I’ve ever attended, and had some concerns.
As I recall, everyone welcomed me with sincere warmth and friendliness, which took me by surprise.
Just the same, I braced myself for the other shoe to drop; you know, “’Here comes the Jesus Squad!’ and they’re gonna try to shove religion down my throat, and/or wherever they can find an opening,” however nothing of the kind ever happened, so I was able to relax, breathe and enjoy this new experience.
For the record, I’m a mature, sixty-plus -years-of-age woman who also happens to be totally blind, and no, my blindness has never been an issue for me; to the contrary, many members of our dysfunctional society prefer, and continue wearing their own blinders, which is the root cause of the many imposed barriers for those of us living with some kind of disability.
Almost immediately, the director (at the time) approached me and invited me to let him know how they could best accommodate my needs. He also encouraged me to let him know of any/all accessibility challenges that might likewise affect my over all experience. Soon after, I logged onto their website, and was pleased to find it was indeed 100% accessible *and* usable—I’d hit the proverbial jackpot!
At one of the Sunday post-meeting receptions, the director proposed the idea of having congregants lead a discussion on socially-relevant topics each month, so I jumped right in, and offered a discussion on ableism, which was enthusiastically received by everyone. I soon found myself attending regularly, whole-heartedly participating in several activities whenever possible, such as knitting for the homeless, donating to the Social Justice Committee, and putting together personal care packages for the needy/homeless.
Again, my blindness was never a problem for anyone, and for the first time in a very long time, I felt a deep sense of connection and belonging. If/when someone had a question about how I accomplished a given task, they would simply ask! If I didn’t have an answer, we’d work on it together, find a way and get on with the business of making it a reality.
Since I’m unable to drive, I took advantage of the local para-transit service for getting to/from church, however it wasn’t always available, nor reliable for the days/times I needed. Fortunately, a couple of gentlemen volunteered to drive me to and from church on Sunday mornings and I gladly, and graciously accepted their offer, which only added to my positive experience.
After about a year of complete bliss with this group, I experienced an unfortunate, and unexpected turn of events-- I had to leave the Los Angeles area, and begin a new life in northern San Diego County.
I eventually found, and began attending another church that shares the same, spiritual, non-denominational philosophy; a “sister” church so to speak. The reception was tepid at best, and I couldn’t help but notice the differences; this congregation was larger—about 100 or so attendees, as opposed to the more intimate setting of the approximately 20 individuals I had come to know, cherish and admire—I saw them as my family, my people. The building/property were likewise bigger; a beautiful, sprawling acreage, walkways, and peaceful gardens for all to enjoy.
I proceeded in my usual, vibrant way, seeking social connection, fellowship and opportunities for community involvement, but was met with subtle, and not-so-subtle resistance from these supposed “progressives.”
The first incident was when I approached the music director about the possibility of joining their house band. I play the flute, and am highly-confident in my musical skills/talents, and generally speaking, have a great deal to offer, but she couldn’t be bothered and blew me off on the two occasions I asked!
I then heard about a project for assisting newly-arrived immigrants/refugees, and volunteered to serve as an interpreter and/or help out with whatever was needed…my first language is Spanish, I too am an immigrant and fully understand the challenges of moving to a new country because I’ve lived it. Again, no response from the project leader.
At one of the group discussion meetings, I pointed out that although social justice, racism, LGBTQ and immigration issues were indeed important, disability-related challenges likewise needed to be addressed, but the group reacted with silent indifference.
The final rejection came at one of the monthly potlucks, when a couple of women approached to inform, and invite me to join their hiking group. As usual, I welcomed them with a warm smile, introduced myself and gladly accepted their invitation. I gave each of them my contact information, and that was the end of it.
In all fairness, I can count on one hand the few individuals who showed their genuine support by providing transportation to/from social events, the ones who’ve made the effort of including, and bringing me into their circle-- I’m thankful, and appreciate their sincerity and generosity.Interestingly, it was heartbreaking, and bittersweet having to leave my home church in Los Angeles, yet I didn’t think twice about walking away from this group!
No one should have to struggle to be included, so yes, I leave that community altogether with a bad taste in my mouth. Some may view my perspective as sour grapes—I’m willing to bet they’re not disabled, whereas my fellow “PWD’s” (People with Disabilities) will understand I’m only speaking my truth.